I don't know whether I'm asking for advice or support or what.

My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years is suffering from depression. Quite badly at the moment too. I've been as supporting as I can be. Not expecting commitment with dates, not putting pressure on him, I'm not bombarding him with phone calls 24/7. When he is depressed he seems to like being in his own bubble. Which is fine, if that's how he deals with it. But I always message him with a morning, and just little reassuring 'thinking of you', 'I hope you're day is okay', 'call me if you need to talk'. He's also talked to me about things I've done that have made him feel sad and I listen, I take them on board and I try my best to work on making myself better to support him.

However, because of this distance, I feel insecure. And every time i try to talk to him about how I'm feeling, or I may be having a bad day or whatever he gets angry with me...

Examples

I've been having nightmares that he has found someone else, or his ex is with him (she only lives the next street down from his) etc. But I've never brought this up apart from one time. I needed reassurance after not seeing him for 2 weeks and having very little phone contact. All I said was I was having nightmares and I'm terrified of losing him, I'm scared he has found someone else. He went livid with me. No reassurance, he ignored me for 2 or 3 days and then I said I would never bring it up again and I'm sorry I upset him.

A couple of days ago I was sleeping during the day because I was on nightshift at work. He called and woke me up, I just listening to him chatting and then he shouted 'hello, you listening' quite abruptly down the phone and I shouted back saying I was listening. I realised I was just as abrupt in that moment and felt awful, I apologised immediate and then in a text message. But I have had all of 2 one word messages from him since then and I'm getting the silent treatment.

As selfish as it sounds, his depression is so mentally draining because I do what he asks, like letting him be, but gets angry if I don't message him for example. But I don't want to leave him because I know how difficult life can me with depression, and I know it changes a person, but I also hate the way he is treating me right now. It has been like this for months.

Edit.

I don't know if he is planning on seeking help or if he has tried because he won't talk to me about it.

As far as I am aware, he hates being on medication, he has been on it in the past, and he hasn't been to his doctor or a therapist.