Sooo about a year ago I decided to end my friendship with the person who I considered to be my best friend. It was a difficult decision for me to come to but I felt that our relationship was toxic. It was riddled with jealousy, secrets and it got to a point where I felt like I was walking on eggshells around her, I felt that she would isolate herself when she had difficult days and I felt that I had done something to upset her. I became tired of this exhausting relationship and decided to not be friends anymore and explained my feelings to her. She pushed for me to stay friends but I was tired of trying to make a friendship work that couldn’t. Making that decision caused things to quickly spiral downward, she began bullying me, picking on me if I said something during class, calling me names, mocking me right around me. I remained calm because I thought ignoring it would make it better even though it infuriated me. Soon I lost my closest friends and I felt extremely lonely and depressed, I even stopped answering questions in class to avoid the bullying. I was sent home multiple times because of panic attacks which occurred because of situations in which she would say rude things about me in front of me. My teachers and classmates went to the counselor to help address the problem because I just wanted the problem to go away on its own. The problem continued and eventually my parents called the superintendent and principal to address the problem. Fortunately I went to an extremely small school and both the superintendent and principal while shocked that this was occurring they offered to help but even after discussing it with her, the problem didn’t seem to get any better initially. However, after almost an entire school year of the reoccurring bullying things began to get better. Around May she began to say nice things to me and after our graduation she acted extremely kind to me and even asked me to hang out. Unfortunately I decided (which is very unlike me) to get drunk at one of our mutual friend’s graduation parties and I confessed that I want to be her best friend again and that I love her and I apologized for the school year. Ever since that night she’s asked me to hang out and while I miss her because she was my best friend since kindergarten (and also my 3rd cousin) and she was a huge part of my life for so long, she hurt me extremely bad. She seems kinder and I’ve told her that I’m scared of hanging out because of everything and she says I can take as much time as I need and that theres no pressure. Also we are both going to different colleges soon. I guess I’m just asking for advice, I know this is long I’m sorry