My ex & I broke up about a month ago. He was extremely emotionally abusive, told me he didn’t love me and that he doesn’t know what love is, spit on my face the day we broke up, pushed me into the tv, always called me names when we would fight like a bitch or slut, he would always threaten me and say he wanted to hit me, but I still miss him and feel so much love for him. He gave me the experience of carrying my first child even though I lost him at 17 weeks. I can’t even imagine myself with other guys but I know I don’t ever want to get back with him. Why do I feel like this over someone that treated me so horribly?? It just makes no sense, I know I deserve better. I moved cities a few days after he moved out and mailed all his stuff to him so I wouldn’t have to see him again. I haven’t tried contacting him and I don’t ever plan on it but I’m just so tired of feeling this sadness over him.