I want to start out with, if anyone that's expecting is reading this, I want you to know that I'm virtually holding your hand! It's so hard but so worth it!

July 10th at 2 I had a doctors appointment at exactly 38 weeks to do an ultrasound and a NST and to schedule my induction because of my blood pressure. I told the nurse that I've been having little lights in my vision. We continue to do the ultrasound and then they hooked me up for the NST. 5 minutes in (it's a 20 minute test) my midwife comes in and tells me to go get a bite to eat and gets my bags and meet her at the hospital in a couple hours. I nearly cried. I thought I'd have time to prepare myself. I was thinking "we're doing this today?!" But nothing was coming out. I said okay and my mom and I went to eat arbys because I was craving a french dip. She texted my husband (he was at work) and told him it's go time. Everyone basically panicked but my mom lol. She was so excited. We got to the hospital around 5:30 pm and was in my room by 6 and starting medicine to soften my cervix. I was 70% effaced and 1cm dialated.

I had pain meds till about 7am when my water broke naturally. I got my epidural right after and I was 3cm dialated. My mom when to the flower shop to get a door announcement at 9:30 and we all thought I hadn't gotten any closer. 10am, my husband freaks out because I'm screaming. My epidural had ran out. My mom is still out. Nurse comes in, and checks my cervix. 9cm. In 3 hours I dilated 6cm. She tells everyone that it's go time, gotta get ready to push. No epidural. I could feel everything. Not the plan because I'm a big baby. My mom rushes back and I'm ready to push when she comes in. I don't really remember much. I remember begging my husband to make it stop and him holding me and telling me how beautiful and strong I am. 15 minutes in I told my doctor that I couldn't do anymore. She cracked my mom up when she said "well, do you have a better plan?" I begged for a c section. My mom is a c section mom and she got in my face to tell me nothing is worse than laying on a table numb and not being the first one to hold my baby. The doctor told me we could take a break but there was no way. The feeling of needing to push was the craziest feeling I've ever had. My husband kept telling me how much hair he had. I wanted to cry. But when did I have time? 30 minutes of pushing and they laid my beautiful baby boy in my arms.

My husband and I tried to conceive for 3 years. 2 miscarriages. Looking at him, the negative tests, the hospital visits, all the ovulation tests and pain watching everyone have a baby of their own, it was all worth because I know I love him 100x more for it.

Watching my husband hold him and telling our baby boy how much we love him and how his mom is the strongest woman he's ever met brought me to tears.

This was the day we brought him home.

He weighed 7 pounds and 8 ounces and measured 19 and a quarter inches. Now he's a month old and weighs 8 pounds and 11 ounces and is 22 inches tall. The time is going by so fast.

I'm trying to take in every moment but it's going by too fast.