I'm struggling with My 17 month old son

He is very frustrated

He has no patience

He throws tantrums like crazy

I'm 22 years old and he is my first baby so I cherish him to bits but I can't take it anymore Iv lost control of him already I feel like a failure because he throws these tantrums infront of people who would make silly comments like "oh my son wasn't naughty at such a young age" or "you made him that way" or "you spoil him to much"

Okay I give my son screentime and when I do he throws the phone back at me everytime he wants to watch a different video now recently he only watches a video for 2 mins then throws the phone throws a tantrum until I can get that perfect video for him! He is a handful! But so frustrated I have no idea why, cause I end up yelling at him or just a little spank on the hands(I don't hit in general) I'm not asking for a 17 month old to act like a 6-7 year old but I just can't discipline him in any kind soft sweet manner😕he doesn't LISTEN to me!

Here's a pic of my Lil monster