Scared of having a baby


Soooo.... I don't have kids but I feel whenever someone becomes sexually active they have to keep in mind that it can happen. However, I have a disorder that really fucks with me if I ever become pregnant and I don't want to hurt them.. I don't want them to have what I have and deal with it. I always wanted to adopt but my boyfriend wants to have a kid of his own but I am scared of being pregnant. I am afaid that I will hurt the child inside me. So I am staying away. Does anyone have any advice?