Relationships with multi minds and what it's like.

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So. I have DID

DID reflects a failure to integrate various aspects of identity, memory, and consciousness into a single multidimensional self. Usually, a primary identity carries the individual's given name and is passive, dependent, guilty, and depressed. When in control, each personality state, or alter, may be experienced as if it has a distinct history, self-image and identity. The alters' characteristics—including name, reported age and gender, vocabulary, general knowledge, and predominant mood—contrast with those of the primary identity. Certain circumstances or stressors can cause a particular alter to emerge. The various identities may deny knowledge of one another, be critical of one another, or appear to be in open conflict.

When me and my husband started dating I didnt know yet. At times I didnt even know who he was. I was having memory lapses and loss of time to the point we thought I might have dementia. I had facebooks I made that I didnt remember I could be watering the plants and then find myself in the living room binge eating.

Once I got involved with a trama specialist that's when I finally started getting an idea of what was happening to me for all those years.

Having multiple states of consciousness in a marriage is tricky.

Some of my alters do not trust our husband. Not for anything he has done, but for how they see men as a whole and the abuse they remember from male figures in our life.

When I first found out I was plural I didn't know what to think. I do know that I got scared my husband would leave. He didnt.

He stayed. Helped me track them out. How to tell who is who and when. What my triggers sometimes where and what they where not.

I still haven't figured myself out completely.

When it comes to sex only 2 of my alters aside from myself enjoy sexual intercourse. My husband is respectful when the other states of consciousness are present and not intrested in intercourse.

Some times it's hard getting on this app even.

I want a baby. One alter would rather die. The others are indifferent or on the same page. My husband has grown accustom to speaking to us as a whole and acknowledging us as separate states of being.

It just sucks being in a battle with your self.

Take your inermonolog and intensify it. And make multiple talk at once.

That's the inside of my head when many are close (almost in driver seat)

Just a bit ago I front and I'm on a post. I participate in it than land myself in a small argument with someone. They claimed I'm the person that made the post. First I thought that was stupid to say but turned out I was the fool in the end.

I Want to take a moment to give my husband a shout out to. In the post that I had made apparently I was questioning him.

For all I know the part of me that made that was hoping I'd do what I did (participate cause I love that) I still dont have communication with my system.

I might not speak for all of my system but I speak for myself when I say this~Purple

I love this man. He has gone above and beyond for me. He takes me to my tharapy, has held my hand when I'd wake up screaming in the night. He has saved me from my suicide attempts and my self harm.

My condition isnt easy but thankfully in recent years more people with my condition have come out. They are helping erase that negative stigma.

Without people like my husband systems like mine might not have lived I mean According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition: more than 70 percent of people with DID have attempted suicide at least once, and self-injurious behavior is common among this population. Treatment is crucial to improving quality of life and preventing suicide attempts for those with DID.

Fewer than 200,000 US diagnosed cases per year yet 70 percent try to die I just wanted you to really think about it.

I love and trust my husband with all of my being even if some parts of myself dont feel the same just yet.

Different areas of the brain are responsible for different abilities, like movement, language and emotion, and develop at different rates. Brain development builds on itself, as connections eventually link with each other in more complex ways. This enables the child to move and speak and think in more complex ways.

So until I am integrated some parts of me are literally incapable of feeling anything for him other than what they feel

I mean

Young children’s brains are less mature than adults,

My condition can only happen to people before the age of 10

and kids they are more susceptible to develop a dissociative personality because their sense of self and their personality are not very cohesive — they are still developing. They are less able than adults to cope with and integrate traumatic experiences. So the younger a person is when they experience trauma, the more likely they are to develop a dissociative disorder.

That is why children have different states of being. There emotions like a switch. They can only feel one emotion at a time even if its rapid they can not experience it together cause those connections have not happened.

Children who lack emotional and social support are more likely to develop trauma-related dissociative disorders. If they are growing up in a toxic or neglectful family environment where they are not supported to cope with difficult feelings and situations, they are more likely to use dissociation as a way of dealing with trauma. It is less likely that they will be able to ‘integrate’ it into their autobiographical narrative (the story of their life), if they have neither the words to talk about it, nor anyone who is willing to listen and to care for them in it. Traumatic events are therefore likely to remain ‘out of mind’, or in other words dissociated.

A child’s relationships with the adults in their life are the most important influences on their brain development. Loving relationships with responsive, dependable adults are essential to a child’s healthy development. These relationships begin at home, with parents and family, but also include child care providers, teachers and other members of the community.

So though there is no cure to this disorder there is treatment; But the disorder itself it can be prevented.

My husband means a lot to me. He is helping me try to make these connections cause even though I'm an adult my mind is literally wired like a child with experience of adult