I was rushed to emergency by ambulance because they thought I was either having a heart attack or a pulmonary embolism that was making my heart tachycardic...

I was so scared not know what on Earth was happening to me.

I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE...

But I’m only 26?

This was my reply to nearly every thing they were saying to me...

They told me my ecg looked as though I’m about to have a heart attack... but that’s not possible I’m only 26?

If it not that it’s a pulmonary embolism...

And again sitting laying there with all these machines beeping and people rushing about and around me ask for my next of kin details...

but I’m only 26!!

I’m laying here crying waiting for a catastrophic event to take my life while my husband sits at home with our little girl...

The last time I saw she was chasing after me while I was being wheeled to the ambulance, while these strangers are taking me from her... tears streaming down her face...

is this he last memory of me? Tubes all over me, violently shaking from the pain in my chest which is making me vomit all down my own front... pants less in front of the court or houses.. light flashing sirens screaming...

My blood pressure drops... I’m losing my Vision... is this it? Am I about to die?

But I’m only 26!?

I’m not done! I’m not ready!

What about my daughter? My husband?

He can’t do this without me! She needs her mother!

I wake up in a room filled with machines and doctors and nurses...

I’m having blood taken, electrodes all over my body, two CTs in the space of 30 minutes...

I’m completely alone. I start panicking...

the first person to really see me is a beautiful blonde nurse who come and stands at the head of the bed.. she starts stroking my head. “It’s okay darling, big deep breathes”

Time felt like it stopped I was just staring at this beautiful woman who is staring back at me not losing focus..

Finally it seemed like forever, I think it was an hour later... “you’ve tested positive for a blood clot...”

Luckily it was small and they gave me a shot of Clexane.

I remember sitting there like.. that’s it? Just a needle and all fixed?

The doctor came in afterwards and bluntly told me, this is most likely because of my poor diet and my weight because my heart couldn’t pump properly and I have high blood pressure...

I didn’t know any of these things because I

was being so naive because I’m only 26..

Is there anything that you remember saying that was so stupid? And you just cringe...

Well for me that’s this..

BUT IM ONLY 26!

What an absolute idiot.

I’m so motivated to change my life, to save my life! I’m about 96kgs and 5”7

My goal is to lose 30kgs!

And as God as my witness (excuse the language)

I AM GOING TO FUCKING DO THIS!!