Divorce?

Question

I have a question for those of you, ladies, who got divorced because you wanted to. How did you make your decision? Was it because of the problems in couple or because the other man stole you? How to get brave and tell husband that you want divorce?
Please, be kind, and thank you for all your answers.

Answer

My ex husband and I had Ben together for almost 9 years, married for 3 of them. In hindsight he was probably depressed and borderline alcoholic. He became obsessed with video games while on seasonal unemployment one year and we pretty much became roommates. He never came to bed with me. We would rarely have sex (like maybe twice a year). I began cheating on him (he still doesn't know) I felt terrible and knew it wasn't fair to him. The hookups were no one special. But the fact that I knew SOMEONE could find me interesting and pay attention to me made me feel hopeful. I was still young (26) at the time and knew I couldn't keep on giving him chance after chance. 
I wrote a letter explaining how I felt. He claimed he had no idea. He then drank himself to a blackout that night. I helped him in the bathroom. We then discussed it again in the morning and he kind of backed down. We were able to get a free divorce through the state. We signed papers. Went our own ways. 
I'm now happily married to an amazing man who treats me like I'm the most amazing thing ever and were now expecting our first child ❤️

Answer

My divorce was a mutual decision. He cheated for a year before we got married. I found out a week after the wedding. We went through counseling. It was discovered that he is a pathological liar. Seriously he could be holding a blue pen and look you in the face and swear it was black if it benefitted him. Things got better. Then things got worse. Mental and emotional abuse (I don't want to give examples of the things he'd say. I don't like even thinking about them) then physical abuse. I was 3000 plus miles from home with no way out so I kept my mouth shut. I sent pics of every bruise and burn to my dad in case it ever got worse and I need out asap. After a year of that I stepped out. I came clean the next day. He wanted a divorce. Then he didnt. But I did. So we talked it over and went through with it. Signed the papers in Dec 2012. He failed to sign the last one, so around Sept 2013 I called the court down there to ask what we needed to do (i was back home at this point) They said he just had to sign that one paper. I told him to sign. He didn't want to. We talked again and he signed. Finalized Oct 3 2013.

Answer

We shouldn't have been married in the first place. He was in the navy and stationed on the other side of the continent.  The only way we could live together was as a married couple. We had talked marriage before. We were together for about 2 years or so up to that point.

There were a lot of things pointing us to break up, but we got married anyway. After one of his deployments he told me he didn't want to be married he just wanted to stay bf/gf. There was some other small bs stuff in there I won't get into, but I decided to give him what he wanted.  I divorced him, but I wasn't going to go backwards. I broke up with him.

Answer

My ex was unfaithful and abusive. After years of taking him back and counseling and trying to move forward and heal I realized it was pointless. I was mentally out of the marriage for about a year. Not sure what I thought I was waiting for. But I waited. Then one 4th of July he got angry (like he did) screamed at me in front of our kids and threw a glass through a window. 
I made him leave right then and immediately started getting things together for a divorce. 
I was never unfaithful. I did move on very quickly after and it worked out really well for me.

Answer

I wanted a divorce because I tried to change our relationship and he didn't. I'm constantly having to clean after two kids and HIM. I'm tired of it! He can't do the simplest task of getting our girls dressed! I am always having to get them dressed AND then get myself together, forgetting something like doing my hair. All I hear are excuses for why he can't do something and complaint about all the bills he pays. Ok well I start paying all the bill AND take care of our kids, then what do I need him for?

Answer

Long story short, i have a much higher sex drive than my husband, we've been together three years and we have only been having sex 1 or 2 times a month, always with me initiating it. I tried talking about it with him, he always insisted that it's him and not me, he's just not interested in sex at all. Whatever.

Then i found out about the sexting other women. And the emails. And who knows what else. I have told him from day one that lying and cheating ia the one thing i WILL NOT tolerate.  He says he did it because he was lonely and feeling bad, keep in mind that throughout our entire relationship even though he does nothing extra for me i am constantly telling him how sexy he is, trying to touch him/get him to touch me, giving him backrubs, etc. there was no reason for him to stray and yet he did. I've completely lost my trust in him and even though i desparately want to stay with him..i can't. We are working on getting our finances in order and then I'm leaving him. He is the love of my life and I may end up alone forever, but I cant be in a relationahipwhwre i wonder if he's sneaking someone into our basement to have sex with them or wondering if he's where he says he is or meeting up with someone else (all things he talked about in the emails)

Answer

It was my choice. He was pissed but he knew I wasn't happy for a long time and I tried working at it for almost a year before I said f  it. It was rough. He was so pissed but he had his chances. I asked for counseling and he said no.. But as soon as I left with the kids he was like let's go.. But than only made time for two sessions during the time than I went eight.. That was my last straw. I did everything I could. I left with no job. And $200 to my name. You can do it if that's what you choose.

Answer

There were a lot with my daughter's dad. We got married young. We were only married 15 months. We moved to 1000 miles away. I couldn't handle being that far from family. He was verbally abusive. ( the physical had stopped) the last straw was be drive with a beer with our baby into back. At the same time he's mom said get a job or get out. It was a huge fight and he repeat her word for word. I left him. The next day my parents put me on an emergency flight home. (Wasn't sure if I was going back) We contacted a lawyer. Within a month, I had custody and support, a job and state licence. It was easier to tell him i wasn't returning when we're so far apart. I live in a no fault state, so who wants the divorce pays the court and their attorney. There really doesn't have to be a reason.

Answer

I divorced from my daughter's father because of many issues. He was and still is emotionally and verbally abusive. He was very controlling and I didn't want our daughter growing up thinking men should treat her like that. He refused counseling too. I brought up divorce 3-4 months before I finally left, but nothing came of it. I left with our daughter when his behavior became frightening. He had purchased guns and took life insurance out on our daughter and myself. I only learned about the policies a few weeks after leaving through my attorney.

Divorce?

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