Pregnancy after a termination

I'm really sorry if this post upsets anyone.

In December 2018 I had a termination as my daughter was diagnosed with trisomy 13.

Im now expecting another girl in November 2019. Genetic testing has shown that she seems perfectly healthy and suggests she will be born alive.

I feel very differently about this pregnancy. I spend every doctors appointment waiting to be told she is unwell or has already passed away. I can't actually imagine leaving the hospital with a live baby, despite all reassuring news from the fetal specialists.

I don't feel like I love the baby like I did last time.

This can't be just me. How has everyone else coped with this feeling? When does it stop? When did you all start to love your babies?