Lately my husband has been choosing work over his family. I understand. He’s going through a lot at work and is taking a huge test next week. Instead of studying, he’s been glued to his phone and in turn he’s taking it out on me that he never has time to study due to working so much and then coming home and having to spend time with his children. I let him have it last night. I told him if he had spent that time studying instead of on his phone he wouldn’t be stressing so much. He agreed. He said he would study all weekend and also take me on a date that he promised a whole week ago. I told him its okay. His job is more important. Well his friends from work told him they’re drinking at this one guys house tonight at 6 and they told him to tell me that it’s a team thing so they’re basically putting pressure on him to go. He’s torn between upsetting his work friends and upsetting his wife. I told him to make the decision. Whoever he would be ok with upsetting over the other person. I gently explained that we were a team as well and I’ve been feeling neglected and that I don’t think it’s good for our marriage at the moment for him to do that. It’ll be the straw that breaks the camels back pretty much because I’m at my wits end with being put second. He puts me second to his job constantly all week so when he has an option like drinking with them he could definitely say no but he doesn’t want them messing with him. He basically is ok with letting me down so he doesn’t upset them. So I’m guessing he’s going. This upsets me so much because he doesn’t see where I’m coming from and he’s harming our marriage. If we hadn’t been doing horribly already, I wouldn’t care if he went. But we aren’t in a good place and it’s putting a bigger strain on our marriage.

Should I just ask for a divorce at this point? It’s been 5 years of the same behavior. Him promising to change. To make it worse, before we went to bed he told me “I’ll take you on a date Sunday to make it up to you.” I told him forget it I don’t want his pity date. He wouldn’t have to make it up to me if he didn’t constantly put me second. Idk what to do here I’ve explained how much it’s hurting me and he’s ignoring it.