(ITS A LOT BUT PLEASE READ IT)I met this guy last year. At the beginning of the school year. He was new and when I saw him I instantly told my friend about him. He was in three of my classes. He’s one of those oddly attractive guys, but very cocky. He’s mysterious and I could instantly tell he puts on a facade of being a tough guy. I’m a pretty confident person so a few days after school started I walked up to his locker and asked for his snap. He smiled at me and sure enough. He gave it to me. I was in a relationship at the time so I didn’t think much of the situation, but I talked to him for a while and gave him more snaps so he could make friends. He started dating one of my close friends a little bit later and they broke up a few weeks later. My boyfriend and I at the time broke up for a few weeks and I liked this guy. A lot. My friends knew it, but I wasn’t going to do shit about it. In late October I told him I had feelings for him. He kinda brushed it off and Ignored it at first. I decided to just move past it. He became on of my closest friend, but we had and have that friendship that’s just us arguing 24/7 all of our friends tell us to “get a room” and “just date already”. We have that I hate you I love you relationship. There’s definitely sexual tension. In about February my boyfriend and I officially broke up. People always tell me I’m “attractive” once word got around that I was single there were like guys lining up at my doorstep lmao. Him and I became really really close, he started flirting with me, wanting to touch and be around me 24/7, but we still argued all the time. Things started getting hot and heavy with us in March. You could definitely tell there was sexual tension. He always told me that he thought that no one cared about him, loved him, and he had “no” friends. He always said he hated everyone. He’s hurting I can tell guy has definitely been through a lot of shit. I hate when he tells me this because it’s almost like he doesn’t see that I’m the person that cares about him loves him and is his friend. I told him this and he just told me “no you don’t”. I told him I didn’t want a relationship and I’d rather him be my “friends with benefits” I don’t know why I told him that, but we’ve had this on and off thing for 6 months. He told me in June that he wanted me to come to his house one day. I agreed it made me excited. We don’t have many conversations, but the ones we do have are amazing. I can honestly say that I am in love with him. I want him to be happy and feel love. I don’t know how he will react to me telling him my feelings for him are this strong. He’s not good with that stuff. He can be pretty toxic sometimes, but I literally cannot leave him alone. I stop talking to him sometimes and he just hits me up everytime I do. I don’t know what to do. I need help. My “friends” are honestly bad and I don’t talk to them about shit like this because they brush it off. Someone help me. I don’t know what I should do. He knows I love him, but I make it seem as a “friend” if I tell him I hate him he tells me he loves me. I’m so stuck. What the hell do I do