This is going to be long. So sorry.

But I've been slowly coming to the realization about post partum and the things that come with it.

I thought I understood more than I do because I read so much about things and what happens during pregnancy, after pregnancy, the first year ect. But nothing really prepared me for the amount of anxiety I am having.

When I went to my 6 week appointment my OB asked me how i was feeling. In which i answered "great ! I love being a mom. I love staring at him" Which isnt a lie. I did feel great. I actually felt the best I've felt in a long ass time.

But recently 3 months after my last appointment I've had SO MUCH anxiety. And I dont want to throw that word around because I haven't seen my doctor yet. And I'm gonna call on Monday.

but I'm constantly thinking "my babies going to fall off the bed, the dogs going to squish him. Were going to fast in the car." Just things like that.

And today during the thunderstorm I was heading to a friends house and had a full blown anxiety attack. I felt like the lighting was going to hit our car. That we were going to hydroplane off the road. That a tree would fall on us. So I made my boyfriend turn around and he did. Then asked him to turn BACK around because I felt like my friend would be mad at me that we didnt show up, or I thought he would think we hated him. It was such a bad attack that my boyfriend for the first time acknowledged that we needed to get out of the environment we were in and get back to a place I was comfortable with. (Hes really bad with feelings and things. Hes not an asshole who doesnt care. He just doesnt know how to help)

This is a long post, I know. But aside from anxiety medication. How did you guy cope if you experienced post partum anxiety? Its exhausting. 🙄