I need help

This is very tmi I need some solutions

I’m not necessarily constipated bc I need to poop, I mean my body is telling me to get off my ass and go to the bathroom but it hurts a lot whenever I try and I really have to pee right now but whenever I get up my body starts pooping and it hurts so much I can’t go to the doctor bc I’m on vacation in a different country that I don’t know the Language, I’ve had lots of water and nothings making it any less painful so girl tips, toes them all at me, please and thank you so much!