I don’t know what happened or where I went wrong but I feel like I’m slowly getting worse and worse. I try to keep going and fight it but it always takes over. Leaving me alone in my head dealing with my wondering thoughts. Always in fear always afraid. I push myself to live my life and to not give in but it’s so hard. It’s so hard to get yourself out of your house when every time you step your scared it’s your last. Went from loving my job to having everlasting panic attacks every time I step foot in work. Staying silent refusing to show my emotions cause I don’t want them to see how crazy I can be. Going home to worried parents who keep telling you “your fine” or that “it’ll pass” and to just “be positive.” I tried and I’m still trying but everything I feel feels so real. How can I get out of bed knowing several severe panic attacks await me. How am I supposed to keep going when I don’t see a way out. I’m fighting so hard to stay afloat and not to loose the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I. Can’t. Loose. Him. So I try to hide my emotions and everything that makes me anxious to the point of passing out. So I drink water and breathe just like I’ve been taught to do. I used to love going out, shopping, singing, listening to music that was way too loud. But now the only thing that would bring me peace is to finally feel relaxed again. Being able to go out without wondering where the nearest exit is. Being able to run around without having to stop to check my pulse or calm my breathing. Being able to wake up one morning and have my whole body feel completely rested and stress free. Will I ever be that way again? I just don’t know. #fuckanxiety