having a hars time bonding with baby

I’m 23 weeks with a baby girl. I’m really finding it hard to connect/bond with the baby... I’ve heard some women say they feel an instant connection, or they sit there and talk to the baby etc. But I sort of find pregnancy a weird thing.. like to me if feels silly to sit there and talk to your belly. She’s always kicking me. I have played music over my headphones on my belly, and she responds and starts kicking. That’s like the only “connection” I’ve had.

Everyone says it starts to feel real when baby starts kicking. I didn’t feel her move until 19, almost 20 weeks. So it’s only been about 3 weeks I’ve felt her. But to me, it still doesn’t seem real.. I mad a miscarriage last December, and I’m due within 5 days of that date. To me it’s feeling like this little girl is going to shadow that date and I’m only going to remember the birth of my baby, and not the loss I had around that time a year ago. So maybe that’s why I haven’t been overly excited thus far. And it makes me feel like a bad mom 😔