Hi all, bit of a moan coming on, I’m sorry.

Our little one is due on Monday (26/8/19) and, unlike most people I see posting on here, I’m just not excited :-( I feel so guilty for feeling like this. Don’t get me wrong; I want children, always have done, and this little bump was planned but I’m looking forward to the bit when they’re older and can speak and be a little independent.

I’m dreading the fact I will be needed constantly. I’m not looking forward to being permanently tired and potentially having my baby glued to me whilst I breast feed (assuming that goes ok).

I know this makes me sound like such a horrible person and I hate that I’m feeling like this. I don’t deserve to be a mum :-( this poor little thing deserves to be cherished and the light of someone’s life but I just can’t picture myself enjoying the first couple of years. I like to be on time (if not early) to appointments/meetings/gatherings, I like being good at my job, I’m an organisation geek and I can’t see how I can do these things and be a mum to a little baby. All I hear is people telling me that I don’t know what tired is until the baby is born or how being good at my job is a thing of the past now that I have a little one needing my attention. I’m hoping that when he or she is born I will feel differently and get that surge of protectiveness and will want to be needed. Has anyone else experienced this?

I have a great family but I have been raised to be independent (fiercely so) and so the thought of something preventing me from doing what I need to absolutely petrified me. My husband is great but doesn’t drive and hates his job so any travelling I have to drive there and because he hates his job suffers from bouts of depression. He never particularly wanted children but said he wanted them with me. I’m concerned that this will tip him over the edge and I will be left to do everything. Any advise to help me cope with my concerns?