Would you be upset? What would you do?

Question

Back story: a week ago my sister in law had her baby and my mom was sending pictures of the baby to people before my sister in law did. I’m due in 2 weeks and we haven’t found out what we’re having and plan to reveal it to people once they come to the hospital or (if not invited or no show to the hospital) we plan to a day later or 2 post on Facebook for everyone else to see what we have/had! Just something fun for us to do and for me to look forward to because this pregnancy has been very stressful for my husband and I (that I won’t go into much detail about). But me knowing she did this with my sister in-law and wanting her to be in the room when I give birth I asked her to PLEASE not take or send any pictures of baby to anyone and to please not tell anyone what baby is or when baby is here. I want to be able to tell people baby is here and have them be surprised once they come see baby or online. Again just something for me to look forward to as this pregnancy has been so stressful for me. 
Anyways my moms reply was “I’m gonna send a picture to everyone” jokingly but I know my mom and I don’t feel like it was exactly a joke but rather so  if she got caught doing it later on then she could come back with “I told you I was going to” 
I said please don’t. And she then replied “that’s so stupid what you guys are doing” 
I’m literally so upset that she would even say that and feel very disrespected and my husband feels the same. He actually thinks it would be best to just not have her there because knowing her she will go behind my back and do it anyway. She’s just like that. My only problem is I feel like I need her support, but also I feel like she’ll be extremely upset if I didn’t call her until AFTER baby was born and then she may not come and may not bring my younger sister there either. But I’m torn because I WILL be upset if she is secretly notifying people when I’m in labor, what baby is and that I had baby and sending people pictures of baby before I get to and totally ruining my surprise gender. 
Would you be upset, and what would you do in my situation??

Answer

I wouldn't trust her. You either need to ask her to put her phone away, take it from her, or mama ain't visiting the hospital until you two can post.
She sounds immature and disrespectful of your wishes.

Answer

Confiscate her phone when she gets to the hospital? I'm sure she'd still post an announcement as soon as she got it back though.

Answer

Yeaaaaa she doesn’t sound like a very supportive person. I wouldn’t have her in the room because she’s going to take away from your experience. If she then chooses not to come see the baby afterwards, that’s on her and would be pretty petty and sad. Sorry you’re dealing with this. Just remember it’s your baby, your experience, you do what you want and everyone else just needs to be okay with it or they don’t get to be a part of it.

Answer

I personally would not allow her no where near the delivery room.she needs to respect ur wishes.

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So honestly, I’d tell her if she wants inside the room, she hands over the phone. 
Very simple. Make it her decision. And tell her that you won’t tolerate any disrespectful comments about it. She can dislike it but if being there for baby’s birth is important she can give up the damn phone.

Answer

Oof this is rough! I’d definitely be upset too! I feel like she just threw that back out of defensiveness and probably (hopefully?) wishes she’d held her tongue instead. I feel tempted to agree with your husband. It’s clear this is important to you and it’s a small, easy thing for her to do. There really shouldn’t be any issue with her being ok with waiting - it’s not her news. I’d have that expectation of visitors regardless, its my baby and I’ll tell the world when I’m ready! 
Hopefully you can revisit this with her before the birth. Sit her down and have a sweet heart to heart. Tell her you love her and really want her to be there, but that her response the other day really hurt your feelings and is giving you doubts now. Maybe this will help her see your side and come around. 
Good luck mama. Do what is best for you and your little  family, always.  No shame no guilt. 💕

Answer

I dont know....it was REALLY mean for her to say ‘what you guys are doing is stupid’. To me, that just shows that she’s upset you beat her to the punch and now she can’t be the picture sender. If it were me, I’d have a talk with my mom and tell her how badly that hurt my feelings, explain why it’s important that I be the one to send pictures and tell her that I think it’s best if she’s isn’t in the room. Honestly. Labor is stressfully enough and you really don’t need to be worrying about playing cell phone/ camera referee because your mom isn’t mature enough to respect your wishes. That birthing room need to be a safe peaceful environment for you. It isn’t about her right now and you will do great regardless if she is there.

Answer

I wouldn’t let her know when I’m in labor and so she won’t be upset just say everything went super fast U didn’t have time to call her or just let her come n if she does what you already know she will do u can’t really b to upset wit her she is your mother so you know when she is serious and when she is really just playing gotta pick what is most important to you

Answer

If she’s not going to respect your choice, don’t send any photos, and make it clear she’s not to take any on her one. Your kid. Your choice mama!

Answer

Well... your mom sounds like a pill... very childish. I would tell her if shes going to be in the room she cannot have her phone. Otherwise she can wait to see the baby after its born and either way, without her phone.

Would you be upset? What would you do?

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