Infertility Fu**ing SUCKS

Why is it so simple for some people to get pregnant , and then some people can’t seem to get pregnant for shit . Like it’s ridiculous , I’m so fucking tired of not getting to have a successful pregnancy , been TTC for 3 damn years & 2 months and I’m fed up . I’ve tracked , temped and done everything possible . I’ve had 1 miscarriage , 1 chemical and 1 blighted Ovum . I didn’t choose this , no one does . I didn’t choose to have Stage 4 Endometriosis , pcos , polyps , my LH & FSH levels to be screwed up , I didn’t choose to get diagnosed with everything when I was 11 years old , I know I sound like a cry baby , but damn it’s so frustrating . I haven’t ovulated on my own in 8 months and so I’ve had to take a wide range of ovulation meds . Finally my OB puts me on Femera ( Letrozole ) and I ovulated twice and you know what happened ? I released two fucking eggs and still didn’t get pregnant . What’s the odds of that 😂

My fiancé Sperm is in Good Condition & I know I know , people have it worse . But why can’t we all just get pregnant and finally have our miracles we’ve longed and prayed so long for ? It’s not fair . The some people say well look into

IVF

,

IVF

in my areas is $18,000 . I can barely manage to pay $1200 a month to 3 different doctors per visit , plus pay how much ever my medicine cost ! Oh then you can’t forget , sometimes your period decides to stay around for 3 months to a 2 years and be consistent and then you spend over $100 a month in period products .

I understand

IVF

, Dr’s visits , meds and what not can’t be free . But hell why can’t they be free ? I have a total of $1000 save to put towards out

IVF

fund , but at this rates it’s going to take another 17 months to save , if no unexpected cost comes up . Why do people with infertility and other problems gets charged an arm and a leg for something we didn’t choose ?

Oh but you got people like my sister that can pop out a child left and right , that she doesn’t take care of , everyone around her provides for her children and she still lives a care free life , has insurance , pays zero bills and etc . When in reality she’s perfectly capable of getting a job . Has a whole ass 2 kids by different men ( no judgement ) & yes I really mean no judgement , but in her case I do for specific reasons . Because both men she told she was on birth control and that she was allergic to latex and she thought a child would make them stay around , but boy was she wrong . & now she’s trying to have a 3rd with someone she met two months ago and has been with him a whole ass month 🙄 but I can’t even have one child with the one man I’ve been with going on 5 years ?

I pray , pay my tithe , pay my offering at church , I’ve drank fertility teas , I’ve done pre seed lube , done the hips up after having sex , taken clomid / metformin / and now Femera . I’ve taken vitamins to make your CM more fertile & etc .

4 years is just pushing the limit for me . Like I know everyone says when you quit trying is when it will happen ? But how are you supposed to quit trying when I have to take medicine just to get my period and then take medicine to ovulate , so either way those things are still in my head to have sex because I’ll be ovulating soon .

One thing I can be thankful for in this Journey is I know I can get pregnant and I’ve never felt like sex was a chore . I love sex . I would love to adopt or foster , but in my state you can’t go that until you are 25 ( I’m 2 months short of 23 ) . Also it’s going to be very hard to Adopt or Foster because of the accusations my sister that has my niece and nephew made towards my fiancé and I . The accusations got cleared and we were proven not guilty & she only said the things because she was high off her ass ( as usual ) , but those accusations will always be there . So I’m afraid that it will be harder for us to adopt or foster . Which I’m willing to do anything to have a family and a child to love with all my heart .

I’m just so fed up . I’m tired . I don’t see how some of you go longer than 4 years , I’m just not as strong as you all are .

Regardless of how long it takes to conceive and you get your BFP in 2 months or 10 years , the wait seems to feel like forever regardless .

Sorry about how long this is , I had to rant . Thank you , if you’ve read all the way to the end . LOTS OF BABY DUST TO EVERYONE TTC ! ❤️