Let me just say, never once have I felt this way since having my first 2.5 years ago. I have always felt like I’ve done my best, and always felt great about my parenting, and choices I make for my girls.

I’m 31 weeks with my 3rd so maybe it’s my emotions and hormones but I’m not sure what to do or who to talk to because our families don’t know we are pregnant and only a few people know we are are all busy.

My husband and I are moving within the month to a house of our choosing as long as the appraisal goes right for the VA home loan. That’s been a huge accomplishment for my husband himself as hes worked very hard to get his credit up enough and he finally did, we got approved for a good loan and we are in contract for a house! Supposed to be closing the 10th -17th depending on the appraisal and paperwork. He’s worked his butt off since we’ve been together to give me everything he could. We started with nothing but a trailer we bought that should have been condemned . We moved out of state, and he’s worked so hard for us and we have finally Gotten to we’re we need to be.

On the other hand my husbands job had cut him down to 8 hour shifts from 12 s a month or two ago and he just got back stuck to 12s 7pm-7 am 7 days a week. He hasn’t had a day off in forever and I just started babysitting to make some extra money a few weeks ago to lighten his load. Well we are now in crunch time, because Rent is due in 2 days here, I think he’s got enough but that means we are literally scraping by even with me making extra money because it had to go to rent after all the fees and inspections for the loan this last week. My truck also broke the same week we went into contract so we had to pay 300 for it to be partially fixed so that’s another reason we are behind 😭 well we still hav two come up with 2,000 more dollars ( we will have it next week) and my paycheck this week is going to getting my husbands account zeroed our cause something came out when it wasn’t supposed to. And to be frank I don’t know if we even have enough food for the next 3 days let alone all of next week😭😭😭

Don’t mention that we have to buy a washer n dryer when we move.

I I’m feeling so defeated right now. This is the lowest I have felt in this entire relationship not because my husband isnt doing what he’s supposed its actually the opposite. We’ve done everything right he has done everything right . But we are just behind with this buying the house this month and forking our 1,700 in the last week. I can’t even feed my freaking kids “meals” right now. I am selling stuff to be able to feed them as long as they are able to eat I’ll be okay. It’s just I’m so stressed and all I can do is cry. I will always do what I have to for my kids. I will sell anything and everything so they can eat. Again I’m just so over whelmed I can’t even take it.

My husband is gone and I just want to cry on his shoulder because the stress of all this, feeling like I’m failing as a mother, my kids are overwhelmed with everything going on so they are acting out. My hearts ready to break