Noah James. Do you like the name?

Question for the poll above: Do you like the name Noah James?

My husband and I had picked out the name Noah James for a boy and Cecelia Lynn for a girl when we were expecting our first child (both family names). That baby ended up being Cecelia Lynn, and it suits her perfectly.

When we conceived this baby we started searching for a girl name that spoke to our hearts the same way that Cecelia Lynn did. We never quite landed on one, which was fine because we found out we are expecting a boy. We have shopped around lightly for other boy names, just in case, but I think this baby has always been Noah James in our hearts and minds, even before he was conceived.

With Cecelia we didn’t reveal the name until birth. It was like our own little sacred secret. It almost felt like keeping her name between my husband and I kept part of the pregnancy journey just for us, away from criticism and comment.

With Noah we were planning to do the same. But then my husband spilled it casually in conversation with his brother this evening. Granted, I had a bad day today, but I felt heartbroken immediately. You see, of all people, my brother-in-law is the one who reacted to us announcing we were pregnant by saying “geez, I don’t even have one yet, you know it’s called a condom!” He’s going through his own personal stuff lately, and so he’s been less than thrilled (even resentful) of us having another baby. He tends to use joking as a defense mechanism, and often jokes with you when he’s not sure what to say, but there’s usually some venom behind what he’s saying, if you know what I mean - his words usually come with a dagger or two. Of all the people to be in on our sacred secret...and then of course he started joking about my husband letting it slip, then proceeded to joke about the name. And it felt like it was the first time someone was teasing my son, like our one little sacred way of protecting our heart’s connection to this little boy was being picked away at without warning.

I had to step out of the room because my eyes started to well up with tears - like I said, I’d had a bad day (and I’m 24 weeks pregnant, have a toddler to keep up with, and have experienced some of the worst morning sickness of my pregnancy just this week). I started wondering if I should change the name. It didn’t feel like mine anymore.

Im just wanting to vent and looking for some empathy. I know my husband, though he’s a great guy, will not understand why I’m so sad right now. Perhaps someone in this group might.