Emotionally distraught.

So, I honestly feel like a piece of crap.

Me and my fiancé are engaged to be married in 2 months, but it hasn’t been the easiest because he travels full time and usually when he’s here it’s only for a couple days. Sometimes I can go with him but most of the time, it doesn’t work out on my end, and I just can’t so when he’s at work functions, meetings, and in different time zones it is at times SO emotionally wrecking to me to the point that when I know I’m barely going to have any communication with him and I know he won’t be able to call or tell me goodnight before I go to sleep and there won’t be a point where we can just slow down and catch up, it makes me withdraw myself to the point of not wanting to talk when he can for just a few minutes or text him back when I know it’s going to be DAYS of the low communication. It honestly just hurts so bad and the short texts, and couple minute calls just make me miss him even more and make me that much more emotional, and it’s like a restart of him leaving again to me. It’s honestly easier for me to just text him in the morning and before I go to sleep and otherwise just go about my day and look forward to him being back in my time zone and back with me, but he doesn’t understand this and he is as loving as possible and tries to make it as easy as possible on me but I honestly just don’t know how to communicate this to him and I feel so awful like I can’t be enough for him when he’s away and I don’t know how to change myself or what I can do to help my self be better. I’m honestly just having a hard time with the separation and I feel like my way of dealing is hurting him too and I just don’t know what to do.

My emotions are all over the place, and I just started a new BC that’s making it worse and I just feel awful and like I’m failing and I don’t know what to do. 😭