Depressed AF

For four years now, my husband has been telling me time and time again how he doesn't want any more kids. I've been respectful of his wishes as much as I could but I want another baby so badly. It breaks my heart when he tells me no still. -And again, I'm agreeing to it.- tracking ovulation to keep from getting pregnant and was taking birth control.

Well, last month, I ended up having a miscarriage. Didn't know I was even pregnant until the day it started. Since then, I've just been so depressed. He tells me he's sorry for how he feels.. and I do understand, we just have opposite wants. Unfortunately it's just making me feel worse and guilty for the miscarriage because he doesn't want me getting pregnant (obviously)

I just don't know how to stop feeling this way and be okay with not having the baby my heart desires 😭