Wish i was beautiful to my husband.

We've been together 3 almoat 4 years. He has never once called me beautiful or ever complimented me. I have acne and im am obese and i had a baby recently and my body got worse. Im struggling with myself really bad. My acne is out of control and im eating very unhealthy . i never want to have sex because it hurts when we try. It burns amd feels raw. My dr said its because I'm not wet enough. I don't get wet because i don't get turned on. I don't get turned on because i feel ugly. I see all the pretty girls (porn pucd and vids) he has saved on his phone and i compare myself. I'm so gross. I wish i was as beautiful as those girls. I've thought about starving myself but i can't i eat alot. I've told him how i feel but it never makes a difference. Sex is boring i always fake it because everyone keeps saying if i dont have sex with him be will cheat. I hate myself so much i hate how i look but im struggling to change. 😭💔 maybe once i loose this weight he will think im beautiful.

Update: thank you ladies for the encouraging comments y'all are sweet . when i wrote this i was pmsing so i was exaggerating a bit. Im not obese im a size 11. Ive spoken to My husband about this before and did again last night he said he loves me no matter what size i am. He said if he didnt find me attractive he wouldn't have married me. He said he isn't into compliments because he's awkward at saying cute things so instead thats why he is always affectionate in other ways like hugging me or always touching me somehow. About the porn pics he said he just has them because he has needs and doenst want to force to have sex because he knows it hurts me. He said that he should have been more considerate and not save those vids and pics on his phone especially knowing how i feel about myself. I am gping to start a workout program at home and eating healthier my husband said we can do it together.

To the very rude and and judgy lady saying to grow up. . . wow. . . yes i do eat alot and mainly because i suffer from ppd and anxiety... Plus all the stress from coming home after 12 shifts . i feel as my husband should make me feel beautiful thats part of his job. Theres literally no reason to be rude.