Ingrown hairs above my 🙀 HELP

Every time I shave my Blatter area and between my legs I get the worst irritation. I’ve tried using men’s razors going with the hair using sensitive soap and warm water using coconut oil even the sensitive nair didn’t do anything:(. I hate being with my mans who isn’t technically my mans but he’s my mans and having a bush or a bunch of bumps. What can I do about any of this to prevent it ?? Plus I have a fat 😼 and I’m already insecure about it and don’t want to go get it waxed😔I need answers please 😭😭😭😭