Backstory:

My husband and I met in high school and became super close friends, dated for a couple months and broke up. He moved on and dated a girl for about 5 months and after about after 10 months we started dating again moved in after only 8 months of dating... I know pretty dumb. Well 6 months after living together we get into this huge fight and I move back in with my parents for 7 months until I forgave him and moved back in, only this time we get married.

Present day:

Now being married for more than a year its tough... Idk is this is something that happeneds in every new marriage where you're over thinking or having a bunch of arguments where it makes you think if you even want to spend your life with them..¿ I posted this thing on here the other day where I talk about him "cheating" as far as I'm concerned there where no physical contact just texting. But it was too friendly for it to be nothing, whatever we talked and moved from that. A week later I get his phone because honestly I dont trust him and I feel like there's more that just a random 1 time convo with this girl and I find another girl he works with hes being way too friendly texting and asking her to call him and they talk for more than an hour! Like wtf I usually have to let him go because hes always too busy... he said it was a group convo with other coworkers because of some drama going on whatever, sound like bs but I dont have the energy to argue so I let it pass. A couple years back he made me delete every guy I followed on Instagram idk because he jealous and he said he'd do the same, which he did but now is following girls and saying that if along time ago they're just barely accepting his follow request. It's just all the lies that have me so tired of him. I feel like I just done with him i HATE that he lies about everything. We have an 8month old baby and I dont want to be selfish and just leave because I know I feel like I cant live without the moron and dont want to keep moving back in like I have a baby to worry about. Soon hes going to start understanding and asking questions i dont want that life for him but i also dont want to stick with him just because I'm too scared to be a single mother. Idk if it's even enough to separate. I'm so drained I won't even ask questions anymore I just cry myself to sleep while he sleeps next to me without a clue how shitty I feel.