So, I’ve been talking to this guy for a couple of months now. We’ve known each other since we were in our early teens, (He’s 23 and I’ll be 25 in about 2 weeks! 🎉). Anyway lol, when we first started talking he lived out of state. I went to see him a couple of times, and not too long after the last time I went to see him, he moved back home, which is where I live. I know he didn’t move here for me. His son also lives here, and he wanted to be closer to him. Which, of course, that’s understandable and I never questioned it.

He’s the type of guy who just likes to go with the flow. He claims that he doesn’t want a relationship and that they’re overrated. But when he comes to me, he doesn’t throw away the possibility that a relationship with me might happen. He always says things like “yet” or “right now”, or sometimes he even talks about his future, and I’m always in whatever he pictures. He’s stayed at my house a few times with me. He’s cooked me breakfast, and now he’s offering to cook dinner next time he comes over.

It’s sweet and all, and although I want a relationship, I’m trying not to force anything on him. I’ve brought it up a couple of times and his answer is always the same... “Just go with the flow.” I even asked him about what we were doing if he doesn’t want a relationship and all he says is, “We’re just chillin’.”

🙄 So I ended up dropping it altogether.

I understand why he wants to take things slow. Him and his baby’s mom were together for 6-7 years. The only reason why they broke up is because she cheated on him and completely broke his heart. I understand that, because I was also cheated on by someone I saw a future with.. someone I was together with for a long time.

Also, he drinks a lot. I don’t have a problem with it because he’s not a “bad drunk” , but you know what they always say..... the truth comes out when you’re drunk. We were in our group of friends one night, and my good friend randomly started a conversation and asked, “Why do you drink all the time?” And he said that just helps him get his mind off of things. Somehow the conversation kind of turned and he had mentioned that he can’t have sex with anyone while he sober. She asked him why and he said, “Because I’m still in love with my son’s mom.”

After that, I was completely turned off with the conversation and went to sleep. But you know what’s funny? We had sex that night... while we were drunk.

I know, I know... I’m probably stupid. I’m so confused. He doesn’t hesitate to say that he likes me, and that he wants to build with me. But he also doesn’t hesitate to talk about his son’s mom either. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a bad way. It just makes me uncomfortable. I’m trying not to make a big deal out of it because of the fact that we’re not together. But we don’t mess around with anyone else but each other, and we act like a couple. He picks me up from work sometimes, he kisses me in front of my friends and his.... I’ve never been in a situation like this. Does anyone have any advice?