Sad/depressed 2nd tri

Ugh super depressed I have really bad depression and anxiety before pregancy but I had it way under control thi and I finally got too a point were everything was great and I felt amazing but now I hit the second trimester and my head is flown with bad thought about myself and others and I feel sad and anxious 24,7 the only time I'm happy is when I'm asleep like I'm excited for my baby girl but scared if all the bad thoughts I did mention this ti the nurse today and my appointment is sep 4th and we are gonna talk about stuff for that I just wanted to hear others people storys about how they felt and I know I'd never do anything to hurt myself or other sand my thoughts r stupid and I dont wanna think them cause then I get sad any advice would be great!!!