Feeling greedy with my baby.

So I'm 28 weeks today with my rainbow baby. I lost my sweet Olivia on may 20th 2018, and then twins in September 2018. I was just thinking for that last two weeks about how I just want my husband and three kids at the hospital with the baby. Like no visitors. And idk why. I don't want anyone to hold him, or be near him. Just me or husband. And I honestly HATE myself for feeling like this. I have no idea why I'm feeling like this. I want my mom and his mom and dad to see him after he's born. But.. I just also don't want any one there as well. Has any one else felt like this? Will this feeling go away. And what if it doesn't. Will I be an awful person if I don't let anyone visit us in the hospital?