LONG READ: Should I end it with him?
So I’ve been seeing this guy for about four months and I’ve been getting mixed signals from him.
We met on tinder and started out strong-wed see each other once a week, I met his friends early on, texted every day. He’s in his last year of college and I’m post grad 1 year. We live in the same city. We decided early on that we were exclusive to each other but not into labeling.
Recently things have been trailing off- we haven’t seen each other in almost three weeks, he’s been busy with school, work, and band (he’s in the university’s band). Our conversations have been dipping in excitement/interest, he doesn’t seem interested in solidifying plans bc of his schedule, and when he does want to hang out it’s always on his terms, with his friends, at his place, usually in the evening (which in his defense, that may be the only free time he has). He responds several hours (sometimes days later) to texts.
But the weird thing is that when we’re together in person it’s like nothings wrong? Like no time has passed and everything’s fine? He’d try to take me back to his place after dates late at night and I told him I had to take sex things slow with him bc of my anxiety and past relationships and even though he respected my decision I feel like that’s what’s inhibiting it all and causing the decline maybe.
He met my friends a few weeks ago and secretly I think it really freaked him out and he’s starting to pull away. Even when I asked him if it did, he dodged the question. I invite him over to my place for movies, dinner, and just to spend some time with him but he’s either too busy or sick. I really like him and don’t want to give up on what we have but I dont want to waste either of our times or be that “needy girl” who can’t take a hint. Past relationships that I’ve had have all been pretty negative and the guys would ghost me to break up with me/were emotionally abusive and I’m pretty inexperienced in general when it comes to relationships so I’m starting to feel anxious because of that... any advice?