How do you break up with someone you’ve been with for almost 5 years and is very very attached to you.. I need serious help.

I feel like it would be the best thing for me to be alone to find myself i have no been single really since I was 14. I love him and don’t want to hurt him but it’s going to hurt.

The last time I broke up with him he threatened suicide. He already feels suicidal a lot so I believe him even though I know that’s a manipulation tactic. I’m scared hell do that again. He acts like I’m the center of his universe and without me there’s no point and I feel like that’s so unhealthy on both ends.

What started this is that I got a friend and he accused me of cheating on him with her because we talked so much (first real friend I’ve had in years and I couldn’t even talk on the phone with her without him getting pissed) and got so insecure that he said he was leaving and I just didn’t have the energy to try and stop him because it was fucking ridiculous so I was like “okay bye.” And after that he just didn’t leave. I don’t have the energy to deal with it or fix things so I kinda just ignored everything and it went back to normal but ever since then I’ve been thinking a lot about how I needed to end things there. I think it would be beneficial for both of us to grow separately. He is codependent on me. And no matter how nicely I word this break up, it’s going to be a shit show. My emotions will be shot by him acting out.. I don’t know what hell fo but he will do something that will be fucked up , I will cry, he will cry and I won’t feel like I’m strong enough.

It’s hard and pathetic

There are so many things that sre going into this break up. He has no relationship with my family and refuses holiday get together and it’s embarrassing that for the 4th year in a row people have asked me where he is and why he doesn’t come around even though they buy him gifts he says thank you for through me. That actually bothers me so much that I dread the holidays because I beg him to have something to do with my family and all I get is a shitty attitude in return, when I have been around his family this entire time.

Just stuff like that that I’ve ignored for so long even though they’re huge deal breakers.