How do I deal with my boyfriend having female friends?

Question

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months now. Over these few months he’s made me realize that I have really bad trust issues. To the point to where I don’t think I’ve ever fully trusted anyone in my life. I’ve never been comfortable with any of my ex’s being around other women. It might be jealousy, I have real bad anxiety so it might be that, I don’t know. I’m so confused and I’m so frustrated with myself for being like this. He has female friends that he’s known for ages and honestly, he isn’t even that close with them. But when they text home or whatever, my heart races and I get anxious and I’m just over it. But I don’t know how to handle it. Does anyone have any advice that would help me deal with it all? I’ve already been through his phone, and I’ve already talked to him about it. Like he’s so comforting about this topic and tries his best to make me feel like I’m the only woman he has his eyes on and I feel like he’s telling the truth. But when I see a message from another chick, I can’t help but get anxious.

Answer

You’re going to push him and every other guy away if you feel this way. He says there’s nothing going on then you need to trust that. He hasn’t done anything to show you otherwise.

Answer

You need therapy!!

Answer

If you cant trust him fully, chances are you wont have a successful relationship with him either. This sounds like a major issue in your life. If you havent already,  you should consider seeking help to work through this. It isnt okay for him to have to worry if you are going to freak out if he simply talking to a friend. I personally feel this is an issue you need to work on before getting into a committed relationship.

Answer

Get a therapist involved to get to the root of it. You've seen this is an irrational fear, you've seen there's nothing to be concerned over.

Answer

I think you should seek a professional for the sake of ur relationship and any other one after this one. Idk the way you feel might be from something from your past and it seems like an emotional battle within yourself, if it was just jealousy and insecurities you would feel a little better after your discussed it. You said he he is not close to them and they don’t talk on a daily bases, so why do you feel this way even after your talked about it? Just seek professional help.

Answer

you grow up

Answer

I don't get how some women let thier man text other women. I think it's human nature for the woman texting another girl's man to feel as she is special or something. I feel like if a man decides to be in a relationship he shouldn't be focusing on or spending time with anyone but his lady. Trying to pretend that he is only friends with other females. I think you are just making it that much easier to let your man build a relationship or bond with another woman if you let him text other women. Might as well be single if you just can't help but have female friends. Same goes for women. If you can't help but stay in contact with other guys maybe you are meant to be single. But whatever, seems like everyone thinks you are too controlling if you only want your man to focus on you. Go figure.

Answer

People who are capable of making and respecting boundaries in their interpersonal relationships will have no problem being friends with people of the gender to which they are attracted.

Answer

Its It's very difficult that's for sure, but if you both are serious about y'alls relationship try setting boundaries. My now husband and I had this issue when we were dating and when we got engaged.  There was this one girl he told me about and they officially never dated or anything but when we first started dating he told me he loved her and that everyone thought the two of them were gonna get married. This planted a seed which has plagued our relationship from the beginning. We would get into knock out drag outside over this issue. But we discovered that setting boundaries helped.
 I told him when we were engaged that he needed to realize how insecure I felt due to his relationship with her. They would text and talk on the phone a lot. Then one day I lost it. I told him it was either her or me. I know it wasn't mature but I was at the end of my rope with him at the time and I felt so insecure. We talked to our premarital counselor about it and he suggested that we set boundaries. He needed to understand that since he and I were about to be married he really did need to put distance between him and her. There shouldn't be another woman in his life other than the one he was about to marry. Well fast forward to a few weeks ago in marriage counseling I discovered that he put a end to his relationship with her. It made me feel so much better and he explained that he now sees that what he was doing was bothering me, even though there was nothing sexual. 
Relationships are very hard but when its worth it you try your best to work it out. I'm still learning that. 
Much love to you girl and I wish you luck ❤❤❤

Answer

Sorry you are feeling this way 😔 it must be very challenging. Does the insecurity come from your and their looks or you simply feel threatened by another females presence and existence in your boyfriend’s life? If so, it’s something you can work on. It’s good to be intimate and honest. And if your relationship has a good foundation, I don’t see why he shouldn’t know about this. If he loves you, he will respect you. He won’t chicken out or criticise you. But he must be confided within himself and mature! If he is going to attack you, then he has insecurities himself. So don’t take that personally, and rather leave the relationship before more harm is done because you would be ruining yourself, he would be ruining himself and you wouldn’t be a very loving team. Think long and hard what makes you feel the way you feel.

How do I deal with my boyfriend having female friends?

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