The Bible stresses me out

Madeleine

If I’m being totally honest, the Bible really stresses me out. All the fancy words and symbols and stories make me feel panicky and I’ve had a couple panic attacks from thinking about it. I feel like I’m gonna cry cause the Bible just overwhelms me so much. What really makes me anxious though is Revelation and all that apocalyptic talk, and also talking about demons and prophecy. The only thing I can spiritually and emotionally take when it comes to my faith are verse of the day, daily devotions and application sermons that don’t use figurative and symbolic language cause that type of language makes me feel spiritually heavy and panicky. I’m only 17 and I’m much more spiritual than religious. With my faith I enjoy more mega church type of sermons like Hillsong or Vinyard. But flowery language and the stories honestly just cause me so much anxiety. I’m way more spiritual than religious unlike my parents and I enjoy meditation and healthy living and self expression through art. But if I read a whole chapter of the Bible instead of a couple verses, I feel paralyzed by feeling so overwhelmed with all that information and I’ll doubt if I’m even saved. Is the way I’m living my Christian walk ok with more simple modern methods like devotions, daily verse and meditation?