Age to have sex - Rules for the home

Someone started a poll on what is the appropriate age to have sex, which opened up an entirely different dialogue about parenting techniques and a few women had said they would “disown, kick out, and cut off” all ties with their children, if they knew they were having sex before they were adults. It was a hard and steadfast rule - uncompromising of situation.

I commented on there for someone to show me the difference between these 2 scenarios:

“If you don’t have sex with me, I will break up with you.

“If you have sex before your 18, you will have to find another place to live”

Either way, you are taking the choice away from the decision holder and giving them an ultimatum. I question how healthy that approach is.

Our goal as parents is to guide our offspring to make sensible, duplicatable decisions on their own and to come to their own healthy conclusions. Not just with sex, but with drugs and drinking, cyber bullying, sexting, - you name it, the list goes on. We should be giving them the tools necessary that when they do leave our home, they have everything they need to survive on their own, and make healthy choices. We should be living by example, and ensuring safety and open dialogue is encouraged. I am not saying NO RULES, but I am saying raise intelligent kids to become capable adults, and you don’t need to put such restrictions and ultimatums for your impressionable kids.

I have started this topic, because I am keen to hear back from those ladies who have decided on the ultimatums approach and would like to get your further insight.

I, by no means, think I have all the answers, and right now my son is 3 and a huge handful, but I am open to conceding my point of view can use some adjustment/tweaking.