say, a wife and husband are completely incompatable, they cant talk to eachother without arguing, they have nothing in common and dont enjoy spending time together.

their religious and world views are very different, as well as their vision for raising the kids.

they both have a history of abuse toward eachother, some periods of time its better, but sometimes theres abuse.

they both love the children immensely and are great indevidual parents, the husband a great father and the wife a great mother, though as a parenting team there are many issues.

say, the husband is controlling and expects the wife not to do many things (go outside without ‘proper clothes’, not watching tv, movies, or listening to music), so the wife does them in secret and lives a double life as not to cause more problems in the marriage, but to give herself some sense of enjoyment and ease.

say, the wife is a sahm with no where to go or income of her own, who often refuses to cook his meals and clean the house and be intimate with him because hes done something to upset her so she goes on ‘strike’. (however always cares for and tends to the kids).

using this as example, is it good that they stay together because the kids love their mother and father? are they an immature couple that needs to work on their not too big problems together and solve them? are they hopeless couple in which staying together is just damagine them and even the kids wellbeing?

is it worth staying together for the kids generally? is it better to tare a distructive family apart?