My parents marriage has been in the shitter since I was a kid. When I started high school things got even worse. My sister was the rebellious child, so to speak, and my mom didn't like it. My parents couldn't agree on how to parent her during this time and things got extremely volatile.

I tend to stay out the room when they argue as it caused a lot of anxiety. My parents didn't always keep their arguments a secret from us.

My mom eventually started turning to me when she wanted to vent about her marital troubles and problems with my sister. I tried to be as supportive as I could. I felt like she needed someone to talk to. But eventually these talks increased and she became more vocal about her bitterness towards my dad and siblings. She would even make outrageous and inappropriate statements about my dad and sister's relationship. She also made me feel like she was his favorite. I became resentful of my dad and sister and even lashed out at my sister.

To be fair, my sister is difficult and not exactly a nice person. In fact, she can be downright cruel. So it was easy for me to accept the things my mom said.

But as I have gotten older I have started to rethink things about my mother's behavior. She eventually started to treat me like I was responsible for her unhappiness. As in I had to take her side and point fingers at my father. If I didn't behave how she wanted or didn't take her side she would give me the cold shoulder and act like everything I did was a slight against her.

As for the way she treated my dad? She constantly calls him names and emasculates him when they fight. She would bring up how awful his own dead parents were to the point of being a little xenophobic (my grandparents were Irish immigrants.) If she were mad at me she'd compare my bad qualities to my father's.

I became distant with my dad and couldn't go out with my dad unless I told her and occasionally ask if it was okay.

I have tried to call her out on her behavior but she will not take responsibility. She knows that it hurts me. If she does "take responsibility" it's with empty statements about how she shouldn't act this way. Of course, she does nothing to change her behavior.

She once said my father was emotionally abusive but I can't help but doubt her statements as she tends to exaggerate and has made false statements about me. I've never seen him act at all similar to her. She also takes me words and tries to make me out to be the bad guy.

I'm beginning to wonder if she's been manipulating me all these years for her own twisted benefit to get back at my dad.

Sorry if things seem a little unclear. I only have so much room to type and so many years have passed.