We need to talk more about mental health of women. There is an insane amount of pressure that we put on ourselves to try to be perfect in everything that we do.

There’s also a lot of expectations that everyone has of us. We need to talk about this. There needs to be an open platform where women feel safe to say that it’s damn tough to mange maintaining a professional image, being a great hands-on mom, being a loving caring wife, and being able to run and maintain a household. How the hell do you guys do it because I’m cracking up. I’m actually losing my shit and I’m not okay.

I’ve requested a leave of absence, but other than that I’m dead on the inside because I’m literally living day by day, taking it as it comes. And I’ve always been doing that, but this time, it’s different. This time I do it because thinking of tomorrow makes me feel overwhelmed and stresses me out. I can’t be more stressed, because currently my stress is already oozing out of my body into the air.

I’m so happy to do all of the above, I love it all — that’s why I do it. And I swear, that’s damn genuine. I love my job, it’s just damn busy. That’s 9 hours of my day. I love my baby so freaking much it hurts that I can’t play with him all the time, and by the time I can, it’s his bed time. My husband is great, and he deserves the best of me, not the version that has supper with him, and then passes out on the couch before we can even have a 15 minute dmc. I love my home and I want it to be livable. I’ve been neglecting this one because I do have a sense of priority in that sense, and I’ve got a cleaner to help keep it tidy, so that’s fine

But otherwise, I just can’t do it all because I have no time for myself. Or, am I just lazy because I’m the first woman that’s actually losing her shit, and plus I still have a cleaner coming in?

Update:

So, I’ve decided to take a 3 week leave of absence to sort my life out with intention to return on a reduced hour basis. Still working out the logistics, but let’s see.