Trying so hard to see a line that isn’t there

Am I the only one who does everything possible to see a line that isn’t going to come? It’s pathetic really, and so disappointing, and I’m bummed every time.. but still I’ll test again, and try to see a line that won’t come still. Ugh. I’m feeling defeated. 1 year, 4 months, and 3 miscarriages later. I just want our rainbow to come already.