I’m not quite sure if I have it or not :/ i don’t want to make an appointment just yet :(

I have a 2 year old and an 8 week old baby girl. My husband works night shift going in at 4 in the afternoon and getting out as late as 7 the next day. It’s just me doing everything since he sleeps during the day. I’ve been feeling lonely lately, I wish I had friends but the thought of going out with 2 kids to go make some scares me. I don’t like going anywhere by myself with them so I’m stuck at home most of the time. My 2 year old has stopped listening to me which makes everything 10 times harder on me. I also feel as if I have zero patience with him. Anything he does aggravates me. I feel terrible about it. I feel like a horrible mom. I just want to feel excited for the day but instead I’m dreading the moment the kids wake up. I can’t wait for nap time. I don’t enjoy activities with my son like I used too. I just look forward to nap time and bed time. I just want to feel happy again. These are moments with my kids I won’t get back :/ help :(