Just need to vent...

I can’t even explain how I’m feeling. My baby is not even two weeks old yet and I feel like being a mom just isn’t for me. I don’t feel like i deserve to have him and like he could have so much better than me. I don’t have to patience in the middle of the night when all he wants is to be held or he won’t sleep. I’ve tried everything to get him to sleep. I’m running off 2 hours a night.

I miss my old life. I just want to be able to leave the house without it being some big ordeal. I just want to lay on the couch a relax without worrying about when he’s going to wake up. I miss laying in bed with my husband and just his touch. I feel like our relationship has changed so much, and i just want it back.

I feel like I resent my husband sometimes when he gets to sleep and I don’t. I hate that I have to tell him what to do with our son for him to be able to help. I just want him to know what to do. I hate that he can leave the house whenever he wants and go on about his normal activities, and yet my life has been completely flipped upside down. My husband is amazing and i would never be able to tell him this cause i don’t want to hurt his feelings. I know he’s trying, I guess it just doesn’t come as natural for men.