I had a miscarriage in an airport bathroom


I was 16 weeks and 2 days pregnant. on June 30th I had a tiniest bit of spotting after intercourse. I was worried, but it went away so I tried to relax. On July 1st my husband and I were getting ready to come home from our Florida vacation. We got in our friend's truck as he was taking us to the airport at 5:30 a.m. I was having some pressure on an off so I drank some water hoping that it was just Braxton Hicks. The pressure continued. Halfway into the hour long drive I started timing them. Consistently 2 minutes apart. I knew what was happening. I didn't speak up until our friend dropped us off and we were standing in line. I started crying and told my husband I was having contractions. But I told him I wanted to make it home to our girls.

The contractions continued. They weren't painful, but they were consistent. As we were standing in line for TSA they suddenly stopped. It felt like all of the pressure was gone. Like a balloon burst in my lower abdomen. Physically it felt like a huge relief. But I knew it was bad. I looked at Kyle and said " I felt something..." . We got through inspection and I found a bench away from the crowd. I looked down at my white shorts and was relieved that there wasn't any blood. I looked at my husband's face. He was starting at my shorts in horror. I'll never forget the look on his face. I looked back down and there was a quarter sized spot of red that was growing quickly. My husband tried to call our friend several times to come back. But no answer. I told him I should find a bathroom. We go to the nearest one. He offered to go in with me. I said "I'll yell if I need you".

I go and pull down my completely blood soaked bottoms and sit down. The second that I do there was a massive gush of blood. I looked down and I saw him. He was hanging from me with his head down. I scooped him up in my hand and screamed for Kyle. He couldn't hear me. I yelled for anyone to help me. A woman answered. " Please get my husband!" I cried out. I hear her footsteps quickly leave. Then I hear Kyle's. I unlock the stall door. Kyle comes in. His face distorts in a way that I never want to see again. He covers his face and looks away for a minute. He chokes back his sobs and then looks back at our baby.

" What do I do?" I ask him. We come up with a plan. He would go and find some towels or something to help me get cleaned up and a container for baby. We desperately wanted to go home.

Whole he's gone I can't stop staring at the little one that fit perfectly in my hand. A little boy. Ten fingers. Ten toes. Perfect. He just looked like he needed more time.

Kyle comes back with a clean Starbucks cup and I very gently lay little boy inside. I put on Kyle's basketball shorts, his underwear and use a folded up t shirt of his for a pad. My luggage was on the plane. Luckily my husband packs lighter than me, so his was carry on.

I put my soiled clothes and the Starbucks cup in a plastic bag and put it all in his carry on. We sat in the waiting area in shock. We had about an hour until take off. I went to the bathroom several times and every time I would get a massive gush of blood. Like someone was dumping a bucket. The fourth time I went it happened again. I stood up and walked towards the sinks. I started getting tunnel vision. I reached for the edge of the sink And then it went dark. I was still conscious, bit I couldn't see. All the ladies in the bathroom were staring at me and then just left. I crawled toward the exit using the wall as my guide. I got just outside the door when I lost consciousness. I came back and my vision was going in and out. I knew my husband was there. Soon the EMTs were there. Then I was in an ambulance. My blood pressure was 60/44. I was sweating profusely.

At the hospital the used forceps and suctioning to get rid of some clots. They put me on pitocin. It was horrible. It felt like I was ready to deliver a full term baby. The contractions were horrendous. They have me an ultrasound to make sure everything had passed. She turned on the sound and I heard the familiar woosh woosh sound of a heartbeat. But it was my own. My heart was going 160 beats per minute. Exactly what my little guy's was at his ultrasound 4 weeks ago. What a cruel thing.

I was shivering uncontrollably. They decided I should stay over night and moved me up to labor and delivery. Also cruel. On the way up they tried to shield is from seeing the beautiful newborn baby that was leaving the room they were putting me in. No use. We saw him. We both finally sobbed our hearts out. But I couldn't cry for long because another contraction would hit me.

Finally after 6 hours of pitocin the l&d nurse said I didn't need it anymore. I was originally prescribed 33 hours of pitocin.

The night went okay. Kyle slept in the tiny hospital bed next to me.They checked on me every three hours. And have me iron and fluids.

The next day we were finally going home. We had to go back to the same airport.I thought I was going to have a panic attack. Standing in line at TSA, seeing that bench and the bathroom. It all hit me like a ton of bricks. But with the help of my husband be I made it through. Our plane was delayed an hour coming home, but we got there. The hugs I got from my girls were the best I've ever had in my life.