Here we goooo....
A year ago I became pregnant for the first time and a few months later I was laying on a bathroom floor in Hawaii sobbing after having sex for the first time in almost two months.
We lost our first baby around 6 weeks and 3 days and had no idea until a 10 week appointment. I took the pill four times across a two week time frame. I bled for a month. Only to be forced to have an urgent d&c anyways.
Hawaii was supposed to be the reset button, but that night in the bathroom I realized how profoundly affected we were by the loss of something that we would never even know. I realized how “over it” I truly wasn’t.
So I took time away from trying, from apps, from babies in general. From all of it. I saw a PTSD counselor. I unfollowed my pregnant friends on social media. I needed to move on in a way that also honored this journey and loss. It felt like no one could ever understand. Like they may minimize what I have experienced. I heard all of the sympathy statements, both meaningful and hurtful.
1 in 4 pregnancies ends in a loss and nothing I did or didn’t do would have changed what happened. Ladies, if you are suffering just know that it gets better. I crawled out of the dark pit I fell into at my own pace, in my own time. I’m stronger, wiser and not afraid to talk about it, and one day you will get there too. I promise.
So, wish me luck, baby dust, and strength because I’m trying again and I’m ready for whatever life is going to throw at me.
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.