Getting frustrated


Why the **** is it so hard to conceive. I have been on birth control for 9 years. And I have been off of it for more than a year now. I have regular cycles. Everything seems to be A OK to conceive! I ovulate, I am healthy.... my husband is healthy.... we do not drink or take drugs, we have been trying for 10 months now. And my doctor told me I cannot see her regarding our fertility until a year of trying. Ok... I get it... but I’ve had negative tests since starting TTC... I’m getting harder and harder on myself. I cry every month and I think to myself WTF is wrong with me! I’ve had signs (or so I thought)... I’ve had symptoms (or so I thought)... I’m really starting to believe I will never have children. I’ve prayed, I’ve tried OPK, BBT tracking, preseed, eating healthier, exercising more, not “thinking” about it... AF comes and it makes me want to rip my head off! We try so hard! It’s getting expensive and I feel useless as a woman. I have no one to talk to... everyone around me is pregnant after 1 month trying... I am frustrated!!