I’m so scared to write this. I know it’s anonymous, and you have no clue who I am.. but it’s the first time I’m saying it out loud, or I guess typing it..

I’m crying as I write this because my husband was once again a total jerk to me. He’s always bashing me in front of our friends, cuts me down, and makes me feel like I’m worthless. & Worst of all.. he’s verbally abusive, sometimes physically.

He says really mean things about me over stuff that I have really no control over. Like making comments about my skin and acne, how my arms looks fat, I have small boobs, and so much more.

He always make comments about our house not being clean, even though he does absolutely nothing around the house to help me. Unless I absolutely force him to.. one time I jokingly took his phone away until he would unload the dishwasher (I was running around giggling with it), he got so mad that he punched our brand new fridge and put two dents in it.

He pulls me hair, punches and pinches my arms, yells at me, calls me psycho, dumb, etc. but when I bring up the word abusive, his response is “I’ve never actually hit you as hard as I could or in the face.”

We have been married a little over a year and probably 70% of the time, I’m wishing I wouldn’t have married him.

At the beginning of our marriage, probably a month in, something changed. It’s like he stopped being attracted to me. He stopped kissing me, touching me, saying nice things to me. He never wanted to have sex. He actually said to me once that he wished we could just get pregnant and have all our kids right now so he would never have to have sex with me again. Of course, when he makes these horribly mean comments like the one I just stated, he’s always “joking.” This lasted for months.

You guys I’m just scared. I know perfect marriages don’t exist, but I’m struggling. I’ve talked to him countless times about my feelings and most of the time I just get an “okay” from him or that he’ll work on getting better. But he doesn’t.

I’m 24 and all I want is to be happy. I still love him, but I can’t take it anymore. I’m honestly just scared what people will think..