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Body count issues

I lost my virginity a year ago to the love of my life. I was 20, and I felt ready. It was wonderful and I couldn't have been happier.

Months past for many reasons, we broke up.

I was devastated and I lost myself. I forgot to care about me. I hated myself. I didn't care about anything. In two months I slept with 8 people. Looking to feel something again. I hated myself even more.

Then I stopped and started getting myself together. I wasn't with anyone in more than 3 months and then I met someone I really liked and respected me and slept with him. He left too but I felt better knowing that I wasn't being insane again.

Now my ex came back and has fought for me and is doing everything to win me back. I love him with all my heart and we're essentially together again.

I've been struggling dealing with the amount of people I've been with for myself and now I don't know how to handle the situation with him.

I feel ashamed even though part of me knows I shouldn't. Any advice or opinions are more than welcome.

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