So my ex and I were together for four years and have been trying to “work on things” for the past five months. All we’ve been doing is going to the movies, eating dinner, and having sex. We don’t even act together when we’re doing this stuff. We only have sex when no one will know (like it’s a secret). Just everything about us is a secret for him. He never invites me over He doesn’t understand how bad this hurts me. He’s reasoning behind never wanting to do anything is that nothing has changed on my end. He broke it off with me because he could never do anything right .. which in some regard, I agree with. But on the same token .. he never showed ANY change in anything I brought up to him as an issue. I don’t enjoy bringing up problems, but to me .. if you care about the other person’s happiness and they brought up a problem to you, you’d do your best to fix it so it doesn’t become a problem later down the road. He preaches that he cares about me and loves me but then doesn’t show it in the ways I need him to.

His mom has ALWAYS been an issue and she’ll disrespect me all the time. I ask him to say something to her since he clearly doesn’t see that she’s hurting me. He doesn’t talk to her for week at a time about it. That’s like rubbing a dog’s nose in the pee spot a month later and expecting them to understand. He thinks it’s okay because “at least he talked to her”.

And then there was always the issue of him NEVER planning anything for us to do. It’s always me saying we should do this and do that. The only time he ever planned anything was for our anniversary last year and he just happened to say “hey .. we’re gonna go visit my college buddy while we’re here too” .. so it wasn’t solely focused on us.

The list goes on and on ...

He’s just made me feel so bad about bringing up these issues to him that I now feel like the problem and I don’t feel like I can ever bring up anything to him and I also don’t feel adequate myself. But I can’t help but feel like he’s been so sheltered in life (didn’t move out of his parents house until a year ago and then proceeded to buy a single family house with his sister) that he doesn’t know how to handle adult relationships. I hate the fact that I’m holding onto something hopeless because aside of our relationship issues, him and I got along SO well. I have never met anyone like him. And I’ve stuck around and dealt with the bullshit because I, for some reason, still think he’s my person.

I don’t want to be ignorant towards the situation, but I don’t know how I should be feeling in this situation. My head is in a complete whirlwind.