My husband and i have been married 6 years. We have 2 kids and one on the way. Our relationship started like a fairytale we had A great 4 years everything was perfect I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world. Well I was wrong. A few months before our 4th year anniversary we were trying to conceive our second child after 1 miscarriage and 1 molar pregnancy. We finally got pregnant. At the moment we had both agree we were happy but little did I know he wasn’t he was having an affair with a girl from work. The worst part is she had been around with his buddies from work. It broke my heart. I had noticed he didn’t want to have sex and he didn’t want to sleep next to me so I had a suspicion something was up. Well he admitted everything. He also said really hurtful things like that he cheated because I had gain some weight and he didn’t find me attractive and that we hadn’t had sex in a week. (keep in mind we had been having sex constantly because we were trying to conceive, I was tired of having sex everyday) He even said he was starting to have feelings for the girl, I was broken. I thought we were on the same page since we had been trying to get pregnant and now I was. I made the mistake to beg him not to leave me to think about our family I lost my dignity 😞. I left our apartment at the moment for a week to get my thoughts clear than went back to him. I wasn’t ready to be a single mom of 2 boys, (I was 22 and he was 24) I decide to forgive but not forget and work things out for our sons. Over the time we had huge fights I still couldn’t get over what he had done. My whole pregnancy I was sad and thought he would do it again especially because I couldn’t help it but wain more weight. I hated myself I hate my body. I blamed myself.

Move forward I gave birth to my son and we are now in a somewhat a good place. More time goes by we have more huge fights I’m not happy. But he never lets me leave. He always says we can make it work and to give him a chance to prove it, that he is a changed man.

Almost 2 years later and we are still fighting he always says very hurtful things and expects me to not take it serious. But I feel that when he is upset he speaks the truth about how he feels. I am now pregnant with our 3 baby and we had a huge fight. He says to me “how did you let yourself get pregnant” that broke my heart (again) 1 I didn’t, it was a stupid irresponsible thing we BOTH did. I was careless and didn’t check my <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android">ovulation calendar</a>. But to me it was a beautiful accident.

I’m at the point that I can’t take this anymore. He says he loves me and that should be enough for me to stay, but I don’t feel that way.

Who "loves" someone and cheats on them while pregnant. Who says hurtful things to their spouse and expect them to not believe them. Who says "why did you allow yourself to get pregnant" when I didn't even mean to get pregnant it was a beautiful accident. How is that love? And if that's love I don't want it. He even said he has to talk to someone else about how he feels because he can't with me! Than why the fuck is he with me! I just can't anymore. I don't think he'll change I've given him so many chances. He thinks helping out with kids and the house and work is enough and I should be happy. But that's what he is supposed to do as a father and husband. Why should I give him a cookie for doing what he is supposed to do! Gosh I feel like i hate him.