~hopefully worth the read~

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so as you can tell by the topic, i’m crushing. i’ve been friends with this guy for a couple years now. he’s technically my friend’s brother’s friend (if that makes sense) but we all kinda hang out as a big group sometimes. i haven’t told my friends that i have feelings for this guy, because i feel like it’d be weird and i don’t want them to think differently of me.

i’m a junior in high school right now and he’s a freshman at a college about an hour away, so obviously we can’t hang out that much but we talk on snapchat almost everyday.

i know, i know, not exactly romantic hahaha but considering that i haven’t told him how i feel, it’s fine with me.

the other day he went out to his first party and texted me. we ended up talking until like 2am. the next day he told me how he got a little drunk, had girls sitting on his lap and ended up kissing one. i’ll admit i’m a little jealous, but i feel guilty that i feel that way because it’s not like he’s my boyfriend or anything... but it’s all very confusing.

he’s constantly flirting with me (in my opinion) but i’m so awkward that i feel like i ruin the moment. but there’s also positive things, for instance, i don’t normally send “face pics” because i don’t think i’m pretty.. in the slightest.. but with him i feel beautiful. i don’t know, maybe that’s weird.

i guess i’m just asking for some advice :)) or honestly just any comments on my situation. sorry this was so long though haha ❤️