I am a disgrace to motherhood ?

These were the words that my mother in law used towards me. A little backstory... I am a 28 year old first time mum and I am finding breastfeeding very painful... it’s so bad that I don’t look forwards to my baby’s feeds and I cry when she is feeding. I live in Nigeria and it’s expected that every mother should breastfeed... they make it seem as if not breastfeeding is a taboo. I really want to stop, it’s affecting me mentally... my mother-in-law heard me ask my husband to buy formula for our two months old and she called me a disgrace to motherhood. She said “every woman should breastfeed their child. It’s their purpose. Why would you want to give formula? You’re such a disgrace to motherhood”. I haven’t stopped beating myself because of my inability to do what every woman should be able to do, but it’s killing me 😭