im so lost......

i had a miscarriage back in july & i told my ex (my boyfriend at that time) and i told him i was going to get check out & he made an excuse to not go which was "i need to help my mom out w something" and i, like a dumbass, said it was fine but it wasn't i really needed him there. the next couple weeks i got drunk & called him crying about the baby and he told me the next day laughing and mocking me saying "i don't know why you were crying over a baby you didn't even know you had." then he made jokes about it and said "oh my bad is it too soon?" and i just played along but it hurt. i hold a lot of resentment towards him for it cause he doesn't understand half of what i went through & he doesnt care. we're aren't together anymore but i saw a post this girl made saying the same thing, she doesn't understand why women get sad over losing a baby they don't even know they had or if it was early in the miscarriage & it just triggered me. now i cant stop thinking about it. my chest feels so heavy & empty.. i just needed to rant about it .